Archive for the ‘Funny Emails’ Category

* deadline is approaching

Posted on May 29th, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.

In the course “Introduction to Engineering Design” (IED), taught at IIIT-D, the students have to find a problem in society which they want to solve using technology. Two months into the course a deadline was set, till when the student groups had to select their idea and write a short proposal. This is the mail from a first year BTech student, received a few hours before the deadline:

Subject: Project Submission
Date: 28/02/2014

Respected Sir,

As you are well aware, tonight is the deadline for the project idea submission in IED. Please suggest an idea ASAP, but dont make it too difficult.


Well, of course I am aware of the deadline, since I put it there. But definitely, I will ignore your impolite email, sit down and do your work and that too ASAP. Your wish is my command and I do apologize for even demanding that you work for your own education. Any inconvenience is deeply regretted, sir!


* another degree? no problem

Posted on May 22nd, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.

Subject: Re: Resources and support for PhD scholars
Date: 03/03/2017 05:15 PM

Dear Researchers,

We are providing Assistance in ALL Stages of your Research, from Topic Selection to Thesis Submission in various fields of Science and Engineering. We are proud to say that Sea Sense Softwares (here was a link leading to their nonworking website including tracking link) is private limited which provide guidance for the PhD scholars too.

  • Providing complete solutions for the Research Scholars in many advanced domains

Topic consultation : Assist to select the Domain, Area, and Topic and problem formation.

Help with Synopsis : Helps in framing the Research proposal or synopsis.

Thesis Assistance : In drafting, reviewing and rewriting the chapters, Modifications can be done as per requirement.

Implementation      :   In NS2, Matlab, Omnet++, OPnet, Hadoop, Java,  NS3 and Cloudism.

Research Design    :     Designing models or frameworks.

Journal Papers       :     Taylor and Francis, Springer, IEEE, Elsevier, Conference Papers, international journals and Scopus indexed.


Research Team of Sea Sense can provide you ASSURANCE for Scopus / SCI Journals Publications with High Impact Factor (E.g.: IEEE, Elsevier journals, Springer)

Note :

Please share your contact and overview of your research, for technical discussion with our technical experts.

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We are ready to provide complete or partial research support.

—- Thanks & Regards,

    Antony (BDM)

I must have been stupid in the last few years. I really do like the Assurance. I mean for that amount of money, I expect first class service (Rs.65000 = US$1000 = €920 at the moment).


* how to start a lab, fun research & missing motivation

Posted on May 16th, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.

Subject: How to start working on NoC
Date: Friday 13 January 2017 04:15 PM

Dear Prof. Alexander,

Greetings! I am new in NoC field and I have a few knowledge on FPGA..
So please guide me to start working on NoC. Please suggest me how can
i start my lab.

XXXXX XXXXX (in capitals)

Greetings! Well apart from my advice not to start working in the field of NoC, this email is particularly curious. Recently I am able to observe more often that students as well as researchers start working in a field because it is “fun”. However the problem with doing so is a missing motivation. Let’s say, the person figures out something that is interesting and wants to publish the results. In the paper it is necessary to mention the motivation as to why somebody is doing the work that he/she is doing. Writing in the paper “It is fun and that’s why I do it.” is quite insufficient.

During poster presentation as well as interviews many times the presenters and candidates are caught off track, just by asking the question: Why are you doing this?


* i could not do it, so you do it

Posted on May 8th, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.

On 26/10/2016 a course was introduced to the BTech students currently enrolled in their first year. They had to form teams of four each and think about a problem in their environment solvable by technology. This idea needed to be submitted by the end of 2016. After 2.5 months, this email crept into my inbox:

Subject: IED lab group divisions.
Date: 01/09/2017 12:02 PM

I don’t seem to have been allotted a group for IED labs. Will you please look into the matter and resolve it?

Aye aye sir. Let me find a group and a problem for you that you want to work on.


* i am late, but the course is canceled?

Posted on May 1st, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.

In the summer break, IIIT-D offers a refresher course to prepare freshly enrolled MTech students for the upcoming program. In the winter break, a refresher course is offered to the BTech students in their third year to repeat the fundamentals often expected by recruiters during the upcoming placement sessions. While a 2 days course requires around a week of preparation starting from making slides, thinking about useful and fun exercises, room allotment, etc. it is always disappointing to see that all the preparations are for nothing, since students do not show up, probably thinking they already know it all.

In December such a refresher course was offered to BTech students. It started in the morning at 10:00am with theoretical lectures followed up in the afternoon with hands-on exercises. However till 10:30am and out of a batch strength of 250 BTech students, only 2 showed up resulting in the cancellation of the course. Later in the afternoon I received this email:

Subject: FPFA refresher
Date: 29/12/2016 12:31 PM

Dear sir
Has refresher FPGA lab been cancelled?
No one has come in L32 yet.


Enjoy the placement sessions, when they ask you about FPGAs…


* course, internship and quizzes and all at the same time

Posted on April 24th, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.

Subject: Regarding Deep Learning Course
Date: Wed, Dec 28, 2016

Dear Sir,

I am willing to take Deep Learning course in my next semester.
But as I have to go for 6 months internship at Qualcomm(Bangalore) from January, I have a small request regarding the course.
I can come twice to the institute to give mid-sem and end-sem exams, but cannot come for the quizzes.
Is it possible that to fulfill the requirement of the quizzes, I write some paper summaries instead?

Thanks and Regards,

Well, we should all be happy, that someone is willing to take the course. The instructor should feel honored. However it seems that the course stands in the student’s way of an internship. But since the instructor is blessed with the student already, I am sure, the course will be adapted to accommodate extra wishes to avoid any inconveniences.


* why don’t you do it, dammit?

Posted on April 17th, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.

Subject: IED
Date: Tue, Dec 20, 2016 at 3:10 PM

Sir, our group no. is 75. Our group member XXXXXXX has left the college. Therefore need a group member. So ,please do a needful.

Of course, sir, right away! Naturally I could have shot back in the same tone. However let’s change strategy by sending a totally unrelated reply:

Subject: Re: IED
Date: Tue, Dec 20, 2016 at 4:43 PM

Oh thank you. Merry Christmas to you too.


30 minutes later…

Subject: Re: IED
Date: Tue, 20 Dec 2016 17:17:59 +0530

Merry Christmas to you also sir, enjoy..

On Dec 20, 2016 4:43 PM, “Alexander Fell” wrote:

> Oh thank you. Merry Christmas to you too.
> Alex

Ok, so far so good. I thought that the student understood, why I sent that reply. But no, he was not able to get it:

Subject: Re: IED
Date: Wed, 4 Jan 2017 12:11:06 +0530

Sir, as I told you before that one of our group member XXXXXXXX has left the college and we are only three members in our group but now the problem is that our group member YYYYYYYY has also left the college and as result we are only tow members left in the group. So please do the needful

On Tue, Dec 20, 2016 at 4:43 PM, Alexander Fell wrote:

> Oh thank you. Merry Christmas to you too.
> Alex

Of course, as you told me before…


* but we submitted something somewhere, so please do check it

Posted on April 10th, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.

Subject: Eld Lab
Date: Mon, Oct 17, 2016 at 12:57 PM


We had uploaded our files on Github and then ssh server. Somehow the folder we uploaded is empty. Attached below is the screenshot oof our “Git log” and “Git log –stat” for the same folder. We are from Group XX.

Kindly inform the TA’s to check our submission.

Thanks and Regards.

That is strange. All other 40 groups were able to upload the code without any issues. Usually the issues range from crashed systems which strangely always happens at precisely the time, when the enter button is hit to execute the command uploading the submission. Maybe the Enter button should be renamed to “Self Destruct”, when a deadline is close. Another excuse is an Internet problem, but sending the mail informing about the same, works flawlessly. So instead of “informing the TA’s” (TA = Teaching Assistant), I replied:

Subject: Re: Eld Lab
Date: Mon, Oct 17, 2016 at 1:11 PM

Eh, no.

Your repository is empty, so code is not existent. There is nothing to check regarding your submission, because there is no submission.



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