* i was just taking my chances

Posted on October 2nd, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails, India.


Many times I receive emails in which someone seeks research guidance. Most of the times, the senders are students at a university/institute and would like to start a research project. It is strange that the own university which the students are enrolled in and which takes quite a bit of tuition fee from the students, does not have the resources to support the student. So they are looking for guidance as if their university pays me my salary to do just that.

In addition, the subject in which to do research, remains very vague and unclear. The student just wants to do some research, probably because it sounds good and prestigious. However those requests are doomed even before the mail is sent. Research is hardly vague but an intense activity, which can be frustrating and without any reward for a long time. So the wish to do some “technological research” in some area, is not going to work out. However nowadays this is something that students nor universities do not want to recognize resulting that students merely “take their chances” by sending around spam:

Respected sir,

Thank you for the early response.I saw you were on leave and working as a research fellow at NTU which is really great. I was a bit confused because just like you I want to be a researcher and I didn’t find enough people of the same interests. I was just taking my chances.
Thanking you.

Yours sincerely
█████ ██████

On Sep 28, 2017 3:38 PM, “Alexander Fell” wrote:

Dear █████,

What do you define as “technological research”? If you had actually visited my website, you would have seen, that I am “presently on leave” and hence cannot guide you. In any case, you should receive guidance from IP University in Delhi.

Regards,
Alex

On 28/09/2017 17:33, █████ ██████ wrote:

Date: September 28, 2017

Dr. Alexander Fell
IIIT Delhi
New Delhi-20

Respected Sir,

Trust you are doing fine. I got your contact details from IIIT Delhi Webpage. Your Academic profile looks really impressive and I am highly motivated in seeing your credentials.

Let me introduce myself, I am █████ ██████ a first year BTech (Computer Science) student at IP University Delhi. I got intrigued reading your articles and citations at Google Scholar.

The purpose of my writing this mail to you is to seek your valuable time for guidance. I would be highly obliged if you could spare some valuable time from your busy schedule to mentor me on how can I pursue my interest on Technological Research further.
Thanking You.

Yours sincerely,
█████ ██████
Contact: ██████████

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* misspelling in the conference title

Posted on September 18th, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.


Again a Call for Paper (CFP) to a conference. However just opening the email immediately killed all potential interest. There are so many misspellings, that I stopped reading it in the first place.

Secondly, the conference wants to attract all researchers from all disciplines. How will a hardware guy researching the latest time channel attacks and how to prevent them, discuss the “recent research” with someone from e.g. society? I do not say, it is not impossible to discuss research and to get new insights from a different point of view (read: from someone who does not work in the same field). However this conference is not a platform for doing so.

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* if you spam people….

Posted on September 4th, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.


If you send a spam mail to millions of mail accounts, then please have the courtesy of using a spellchecker and read once, what you wrote. Leave comments below, if you think you found all 4 errors (I think there are 4 only).

Your corporation is highly appreciated and I am hoping I could help you to annoy the world even better now. 😀

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* supposing a deadline

Posted on August 28th, 2017 by Alex. Filed under India.


Come to think about it. Why not let the students make their own deadlines?

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* i do not accept the consequences

Posted on August 21st, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.


Dear Sir,

I’m really sorry for coming late in the lab today. It was all my mistake that I wasn’t there in the lab in time to attend the introductory session.
I can’t rectify my mistake but I dont want to miss marks because of my carelessness. If it’s possible, can you please allow me to attend the lab with the next group? I’m again really sorry for the inconvenience caused. I assure you of no such practices from my side in the near future. Apologies.

███████ ██████
███████
Group ██

Despite the fact, it is the student’s fault, it is sad to see, that the consequences of someone’s own behavior do not seem to be acceptable.

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* how not to talk

Posted on August 14th, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.


The students of IIIT-D organize a cultural festival called Odyssey almost every year. One of them is an event called Grammar Nazi. Despite the disputable name, someone contacted me on Instagram with the intention to invite me to this event.

There are some parts in that conversation which are in German. Here are the translations:

  • nicht meine Absicht: didn’t do it on purpose
  • ich habe dich nur über dich informiert: i have just informed you about yourself (informal speech)
  • wollte mit einem Deutschen in Indien reden: Wanted to talk to a German in India
  • Das war alles eine Werbesache: This was all just a commercial
  • Meine Aufgabe war es, Ihnen von unserem Universitätsereignis zu erzählen: It was just my task to tell you about our event at the university
  • Sei da: be there
  • Tschüss: See ya

Not really a convincing nor inviting commercial. Naturally I did not even consider to go.

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* is there a time overlap?

Posted on July 31st, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.


Subject: RE: IED workshop Lab and INE presentation
Date: 04/07/2017 02:09 PM
Sir,

I have to take TA lab (for IED workshop Lab) on Saturday 9:30am to 11:30am and 1:30pm to 3:30pm.
My group presentation in INE is at 12:05-12:20.
I will be present from 11:30am to 1:30pm at INE presentation.
Please allow me.

Thanks and Regards
█████████ ████████
M.tech ECE , IIIT-Delhi | ███████
+91 ██████████ | █████████@iiitd.ac.in

I have no idea, what I should do with that information nor do I see any overlap in the schedule.

Half the information is equivalent to no information.

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* emptiness

Posted on July 24th, 2017 by Alex. Filed under Funny Emails.


Sometimes people are at a loss……

Subject: RE: IED workshop Lab and INE presentation
Date: 04/07/2017 02:06 PM

Sir,

Thanks and Regards
███████ ██████████
M.tech ECE , IIIT-Delhi | MTYYYYYY
+91 ██████████ | ██████@iiitd.ac.in

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